I can feel the accumulative strain and I know I can’t breathe
Until I’m occupied and I forget
Symptoms returning
But still I seem so in control and you mistake my behaviour for ok
It’s not
I'm falling off the track
No one sees it
I forget
But what’s the fear
If I don’t remember anyway
I am only what I am in the moment
Whether it’s thirty seconds or two days
That mood
That shift
Is all that exists
All that will ever exist
And all that ever has
This is the bpd mind I guess and I take comfort in knowing
Whatever I’m feeling right now
It’s temporary
But it doesn't make it any less painful.