I went downstairs and caused it.
I wanted to eat, she didn’t save me any dessert so I made a brief comment
She became hostile
I told her that something was bugging me and attempted to tell her about my mental yesterday
She complained about me not caring about her
I gave her examples of how I do
She said no one cares about her mind but she has to care about mine
I asked her, not even for examples of when she had cared but about when I had asked her to
She said that I told her about yesterday
But I had come home, told her I couldn’t talk because my moods were all over the place
That I didn’t want to get irritated and pop off at her
In that difficulty I was keeping her safe from my issues
I tried to tell her details about it
She told me about the laundry
And I remembered at 16, banging my head against the wall while she screamed at me about the dishes
I cried
Really cried, tried to hold it back but couldn't
She looked at my face, broken
And I saw hers, deadpan
And made herself the victim, said I was blaming her for everything
I told her that I felt she didn’t love me
That I couldn’t approach her or be around her because of the strain
Through bleary eyes and cracking voice, I chocked it
And she was indifferent
I just don’t know how many times I can realise that I don’t matter
No, I never forget, she reminds me everyday
But she never fails to prove that she cares less than I thought
No matter how low I set the bar she finds a way under it.