And it’s all for nought
Delusions upon delusions and empty compliments
Too wrapped up in my narcissism to see the truth
The nothingness
The convoluted twisted sounds warped to fit my minds eye
Going over heads or worse, trodden on
Ground into dirt where they belong
Destined to deteriorate
I will spend my life watching my work fall to pieces before me
And still believe it to be genius
I could put myself in a box
Shy away from the world
Keep it to myself
Keep anyone from ever knowing
What a fraud I am
How empty I am
How I use these words to try and patch holes
And portray a person
Who doesn’t exist
Delirium writes best and writes on
Awareness writes complex
Instability writes jolted and harsh
And pain
Pain writes honestly
Pain writes fear
Pain writes all the things I won’t say aloud
I can’t hope, or pray or wish because I have no faith
So all I’ve got is me
And my belief
My delusion
To keep me going
Keep me writing and trying
To keep me ignoring that voice in the back of my mind
The one that screams
You’re not good enough
You’ll never be good enough
The one I laugh at when I believe it most
Maybe I can’t write
I’ll do it anyway.