Don’t tell me you know what it’s like
Unless you’ve repeatedly slammed your head into a wall just to make the noise stop.
Until you’ve convinced yourself a million times that there is not one person who cares about you.
Until you’ve taken a blade to your flesh and you can’t even see the seriousness of it because who gives a shit, right?
Until you’ve spent months alone because you’ve been rejected by everyone you know.
Until you’ve destroyed yourself time and time again because you’ve decided that you don’t care anymore.
Until you’ve failed in everything you’ve tried because the plethora of symptoms that comes with mental illness has held you back at every turn.
Until you wake up everyday wondering who you will be today.
Until you’re so prepared to be hurt that you don’t even get hurt anymore.
Until you’ve seen the look of horror on people’s faces when you’ve blurted about your illness because you forgot, people don’t wanna hear that shit.
Until you’ve latched on to someone you’ve known for two minutes because you’re so desperate for some kind of attention, affection, love.
Until you’ve pushed away people you love because your mind wouldn’t let you believe you could be loved,
Because you convinced them they didn’t love you,
Because your constant questioning stopped being cute and started being overbearing.
Until you’ve tried to convince people that you’re amazing whilst simultaneously self-deprecating in an attempt to force them to realise what a fucking mess you are so they can leave you now before you’re too attached.
Don’t stand there and tell me you know what it feels like.
Don’t tell me everyone has those days
Because you don’t fucking have these days!